Spending time and playing with friends is an important way for children to learn social skills. Kids need to be encouraged by parents to make friends when they are 3 or 4, as at that time social interaction increases. Contact with the peer group makes the child more confident and facilitates learning rules like sharing, taking turns, exploring their own feelings and those of others.
Some children seem to make friends very easily while others need extra help in learning how to make and keep friends. With appropriate guidance, encouragement and assistance from parents, children can learn the social skills that are so essential through out life.
Several suggestions are given below. Work towards taking small and gentle steps that encourage positive social interaction without being very pushy.
- Call children over to your place and let them play with your kid. Start with the most familiar face so that the child does not find his presence threatening. Be ready for a mess. Create an environment in your home that attracts children. Try to get together with the same kids on a weekly basis. If things go well meet in a park or the other kid's house as well.
- Try to have regular playtime for your child. You should plan a time when your child has had a good nap and is ready to play. It should be a short and interesting outing with lots of physical activities.
- Plan activities for the children. Orient the playtime around games and activities your child enjoys and is good at. This will make him comfortable and keep him feeling good about himself. Encourage them to play games of hide and seek, read to each other or play board games or simply splash in a wading pool. Maximise the positive interaction by making sure there are plenty of materials, so children have enough to play with and don't necessary have to share right away.
- Involve yourself in the group activities. Don't just leave the kids to play by themselves and hope for the best. Your guidance can make children feel more at ease with each other, especially if they're new friends. Make yourself available in case they run into conflict, get distracted and stop playing together or need a change of activity. However, try not to dominate or fill in for your child; the idea is to help break the ice without taking control.
- At times play with your child alone. This allows you to stimulate interaction while getting to know his play style. While playing with your child, you can get a sense of where your child is struggling and when is it easy for him/her.
- Have your own friends over. Family interaction offers models of social behavior; so call your friends over. Include the children in your get-together. Have a double play time with a friend who has children.
