A Survival Guide for Parents
If you have an adolescent at home you may at times feel like you are in a battlefield! The child who until recently was easy to manage suddenly seems to have turned into an unpredictable stranger - at least part of the time.
Here are few ways in which you can build up a stronger relationship with your child who is going through lot of physical and emotional changes.
Pick your battles.
Decide on the issues where you want to invest your time and emotional energies. Many teenagers complain that their parents sometimes nit pick about little things instead of letting them go. For example arguing with your adolescent over wearing clothes that are in fashion but seem unattractive to you causes unnecessary resentment over an issue that isn't really important. Instead if they wear clothes which are revealing and may create problems outside you can put your foot down.
In selecting your battle areas, you will also begin to realize that some issues, which seem important, actually don't matter very much in the long run. Therefore this helps you to eliminate a whole host of problems and you are left with the important ones to deal with.
Respect privacy
A boundary has to be drawn between yourself and your child who is growing towards independent youth. They have the right to privacy. This does not mean that they don't need parental supervision but this has to be within limits. For example, you shouldn't read their letters or diaries or listen to their telephone conversations. Instead encourage an open environment where he/ she feels free to share day to day experiences - and most important, respect her confidences.
Inform your adolescent and stay informed yourself
During the teens, curiosity leads to experimentation with sex, smoking, drinking, drugs and so on. You need to provide information to your child about the issues and the risk factors involved; so that your child acts responsibly when times comes. Be prepared to talk openly so that your child feels free to ask questions and share concerns.
Be informed about the happenings around and also be aware of your child's friends. Change is normal in adolescence but watch out for drastic or long lasting changes in his/her behavior or his/her personality.
Make appropriate Rules
Rules should be laid down keeping in mind the needs of the teenager and expectation of parents. They should be age-appropriate and rewarded for being followed. If you make a rule, for example that the whole family will eat dinner together, then a time should be fixed. If any person is not able to reach on time he should give a legitimate reason for it.
As far as possible reduce the number of rules. Your child needs to gradually be given more and more freedom, coupled with responsibility. This way, once he gets beyond adult control, he will no longer need it.
Enjoy your teenagers
While the teenage years have their share of problems, don't miss out on the positive side. Your child is now more mature and can talk to you sensibly like a real friend. He or she can take on more meaningful responsibilities, achieve many things and contribute helpfully to family life. You can have a lot of fun with your teenager! Even if you have not been so close with your kids upto now, it's never too late to work on improving the relationship.
Enjoy your youngsters while you still have them!
